Liberation Coffee

Sustainability.

I recently attended a two day seminar in Lichfield hosted by Aston University about sustainability in business. Now, I like to think that I am heading in the right direction when it comes to being sustainable in my business, but I also know that there is a lot more I could be doing.

I have compostable packaging, of course, and I try to work with B corps and plastic free businesses. I know that my diesel van and petrol generator are not the most environmentally friendly things in the world, but at leas I am aware of that, right?

We watch these documentaries, and the news, and students protesting that the time is now, and we all have the message right? That we something needs to be done, and we have to do it now. We all know that we are killing our planet, and we feel helpless – its like trying to stop the tide. It’s so easy to feel so overwhelmed and like nothing you do matters. It’s hard! But we also know that if everyone did something, just made a little change, that these things would add up and we might actually be able to do something. We know that the biggest offenders are the biggest companies, that money and greed blind people to their impacts.

This is why I feel so strongly about starting my business in a way that treads a little lighter. I know I have a long way to go, but I’m at least going in the right direction, and I can see where I need to be.

This masterclass helped me to see that there are others like me. I sat in a room with an unlikely assortment of people and we all learned about some of the things we can do to move our businesses in the right direction. From fashion to dairy farming, and car parts to coffee, stately homes to consultancy, we all were there because we share a desire to do better, and to lead by example.

The speakers walked us through some of the ways in which businesses can create a smaller carbon footprint. They explained the way things are done – we used to have a food collection service here in Wolverhampton, but this has stopped. Now sometimes things like this happen because of red tape sure, but having lower quality feedstock in waste (which can happen when the kitchen waste is removed) causes it to burn at a lower temperature, which can in turn cause harmful gasses to linger closer to cities, rather than being released higher into the atmosphere. Maybe it will have more of a human impact than an environmental one, but the take home message that all of us got was that every issue is not as straightforward as it may seem.

We were asked, is it ‘greener’ to use an electric bicycle, or pedal power? Well, that depends on whether your electricity is coming from renewable sources, was the bike purchased second hand or new, how far has the food been flown that you have eaten to have the energy to pedal? Everything has so many more layers than it first seems! Like that story from The Good Place of the boy buying roses for his mother….

The goal is to get to net zero by 2050. We have all heard the three Rs, right? Reduce, reuse, recycle. It turns out that one of the best ways to be less wasteful, is to reduce our waste! We can look at what we are doing, and how we might change things so that there is less waste produced. We can reuse our waste products, or link up with someone who can. We can recycle what we cannot use into something else, like fuel. I have become aware of several ways to reuse spent coffee grounds; they can be used in cosmetics, composted to improve soil quality and formed into logs to fuel fires, which you know will be something I’ll be looking into!

As much as I’d love to change to an electric vehicle, or power Reggie with biodiesel, deck it out in solar panels and use only local ingredients, the truth is that all of these carry hidden costs. Each element needs weighing up – it may well be better to hang on to my old van as long as I can, so that electric vehicles can become more widespread and affordable, so I don’t have to trade up again in five years. The production of solar panels can be hugely detrimental and they may take many years to offset the cost of their initial production.

Businesses are taking action – by 2041, 30% of the UKs ‘green’ jobs may be based in the West Midlands. There are huge scale projects underway to capture carbon with biochar and to produce gas from waste. People do actually care! We won’t get to net zero by doing nothing, but we can’t get there straight away either. We have to take small steps and reduce one thing at a time. What can we do now? Shop local, use your money to vote for the kind of businesses you want to see. We can all reduce our impact a little bit, dig out your old bike from the garage (maybe when it sops snowing!) or that old jacket from your wardrobe rather than buying one for the new season.

But don’t forget, that for something to be sustainable, “it must have the capacity to endure or continue to be produced without depleting natural, human or financial resources at unsustainable rates“. So rest, live more slowly and know that every little thing you do, no matter how small, will made a difference. Depleting yourself is not sustainable. People do care, but you cannot change the world all by yourself.

Learning as we go.

I’m not really one for making a plan, ask anyone who knows me!

I mean, I don’t go nuts and leap without looking. I will consider options for approximately 6 minutes before I decide that it’s a great idea and I’m just going to go for it! I went travelling in Asia after I left uni, and I did actually plan the whole itinerary for the first two countries, but by the end of the trip, I’d learned that it’s ok to be a little more flexible when I’d booked one night somewhere amazing and had to pack up and leave in the morning, but then three nights in a dodgy dorm with 12 other bunks where everything was brown….

By the end of the trip, I realised that it’s ok to not know what you’re doing most of the time. It’s ok to make it up as you go along, as long as you learn from your mistakes when things don’t go according to plan. It’s ok to book a one way flight to Japan, then from there, figure out what country you’re going to next, as well as all the other stuff like where you’re going to stay and what you’re going to do when you get there.

I’m starting to think that running a business is quite similar. I’m finding that it’s ok to not know what I’m doing some of the time, and to figure some things out as I go. I didn’t write a business plan before I did my first event. Before I officially had a registered business, I didn’t know most of the things I know now! I couldn’t see the end point, or even more than about three steps in front of me, but that’s ok. Once you’ve taken those three, the next three become easier to work out.

I have a friend who is setting up her own wedding and events planning business, which she is amazing at. She planned every detail of her own wedding, and the day went like a dream! She is also a much better business woman than me. She had organisers and planners and attends webinars and basically knows what she’s doing. In short, she has the next ten steps planned out, but then again, organisation and planning are part of her industry. They suit her personality and are something she genuinely enjoys. Whenever we see each other, I am impressed by the level of thought and detail she puts into everything!

But we are both on our own paths. I am so grateful I have her to brainstorm with and drink coffee and support each other, but our goals are different, and so our journeys must be to. It seems on social media and when you’re networking with people who have been doing business for years that they must really know what they’re doing. But I think it’s taken them a long time to get to where they are now, and a lot of the time, they will have just been making it up as they went along! I am definitely one of those people who learns by doing, and so doing is the way I will learn this too.

By accepting this about myself, I know I am leaving myself open to say yes to new experiences. I’m less afraid of failing and of things not going to plan, because the plan is more loosely formed. I trust that when things go wrong, I will learn from them. Sure, having a plan and goals that you work towards can help with the direction you go in, but there is also something to be said about letting the journey take you to places you might not have expected. This is something I learned before starting a business, and it’s a transferable skill that definitely applies.

It’s ok not to have everything figured out yet. Everything is figure-out-able: people have set up and run successful businesses for thousands of years! Why wouldn’t you be able to? You can totally do this. In fact, you can do anything at all.

Ok, so sometimes I leap without looking….

How to use leftover milk.

For the wedding fayre at the end of February, I massively overestimated how much milk I would need, and so had a lot left over after the event! It’s safe to say I learned my lesson, and will go easy on the dairy next time!

This however got us thinking – what do we do with all this leftover dairy? We can’t drink it, being lactose intolerant, but would hate to see it go to waste. Mom searched ‘what to do with leftover milk’, and the results were a bit silly…

The first list started with ‘store it properly’. Not really a use though, is it? The next one was ‘drink it’. OK…..

So we got thinking, and mom came up with some great ones, that are a little more creative than just drinking it. Most of these recipes work best if the milk is still fresh, so if you know that you’re going to have some left over but it’s still fresh, make your recipes straight away.

Paneer.

This Indian cottage cheese is made by curdling milk with lemon juice or other acid. The curds are strained from the whey and then pressed to form a solid cheese that can be fried and added to curries (my favourites being sag paneer or chilli paneer). Find a recipe for paneer here. This cheese also freezes well so if you have a lot of milk, and make a lot of cheese, you don’t have to eat it all in one go! It’s also fairly straightforward to make other cheeses, such as ricotta and mozzarella.

2. Yorkshire curd tart

My dad is from Yorkshire, so I feel like this tasty throw back should be something I have a go at at least once! The tart is made from cheese curds, made the same way as the start of the paneer with lemon juice, in a pastry case with raisins. Find a recipe here.

3. Brioche

This recipe only uses 100ml of whole milk, but brioche is delicious and has milk in, so here it is!

4. Mushroom soup

One of my favourites. This recipe also only uses 100ml, but it depends on how much milk you have leftover! Soup adds some variety – you don’t have to make all of the leftover milk into just one thing. You can add milk to a lot of soups to make them creamy, so if you don’t like mushrooms, have a go with another vegetable.

5. White sauce

Make a load – it freezes and is the base for mac ‘n’ cheese, lasagne, and many other delicious dishes!

6. Custard

I don’t need to explain to you how to use custard! You can also set it to make creme caramel, panna cotta, or a custard tart….

7. Ice cream

If you don’t have an ice cream maker, chill your custard in the fridge before putting it in the freezer. Then, take it out of the freezer and whisk every hour for three hours to stop ice crystals forming and to give it a creamy texture.

8. Bread and butter pudding

Stand slices of leftover buttered bread in a buttered oven dish with dried fruit, and pour over custard until it’s soaked into the slices. Bake and serve with ice cream and apricot jam! Or you could make bread pudding by squeezing bread into milk until its all soaked in and well smushed, add raisins and bake. I’d probably also serve this with ice cream and apricot jam, because it’s so good!

9. Pancakes

Super easy to whip up, and having leftover milk is a great excuse to have pancake day more often.

10. Rice pudding

Pudding rice is pretty cheap, so this is budget-friendly as well as a great way to use up leftovers. My favourite is a baked rice pudding made with nutmeg and served with a sharp jam. Yum!

11. Chowder

I love fish, and a chowder is a classic! Poach white fish in milk, then use the poaching milk to make the broth for the soup. I feel that great chowders have smoked fish and prawns in too, as well as sweetcorn and potato, but you could use almost any fish you fancied. Give this clam chowder recipe a go if you’re feeling fancy!

12. Yoghurt

Add live yoghurt to warm milk and leave it overnight to ferment. When you’ve almost eaten it all, add the last bit to some more warm milk, and you will always have a supply of homemade yoghurt!

13. Potato gratin

This recipe calls for cream, but milk should also work well. I might suggest using caramelised white onions in place of the shallots for an intense flavour, because I for one don’t often have shallots lying around!

14. Welsh rarebit

This is like a super sexy cheese on toast. This recipe calls for milk or beer, but I think I’d make it with milk, and drink the beer on the side…

This is by no means an exhaustive list of recipes with milk in, but it might be a good place to start. If you are committed to drinking your excess milk, you could always drink it cold flavoured with powders, or have it warm with a shot of cinnamon syrup (as my mom used to call it when my sister and I had this as kids, a Cinnamon Milky), or make it into hot chocolate – which I would probably spike with a shot of spiced rum!

Let me know if you have any other good recipes that use a decent amount of milk. I may need more uses for excess milk yet…

Secret Bunker wedding fayre.

Well, last Sunday was a treat!

I mean, the weekend really started on Saturday, when me and mom had a mammoth baking session… Admittedly we might have gone a little overboard with the cakes…

We woke up at 6 on Sunday to pack up Reggie and drive up to the Secret Bunker – sunrise over the M6 is more special than it sounds!! We’d never been to Nantwich before and would recommend checking it out if you’ve not, it looked lovely. We even discovered a waterfowl pond!

We were greeted by the lovely Lucy and had chance for a quick spin around the venue before we started setting up. If you’ve not been to a similar museum before, I can highly recommend that too! It was incredible! The bunker itself went underground (as you might expect) and every room was filled with amazing equipment and tons of interesting information about the purpose of the bunker. The venue holds showings in their tiny underground cinema, bike meets, and of course weddings, so really, if you’re ever in that neck of the woods, pop down for a tour, a screening or a meet – have a look at their website here, and their wedding page here. This venue is one of a kind – having seen some of the pictures from weddings held here, it would be like getting married in another world! Have a look at their gallery page for an idea of the special days held here.

We set up the van, and before we had all the cakes out, the other stall holders were popping over for a chat and a coffee. Everyone was so lovely and welcoming, and really supportive with it being our first event. We were set up opposite Pizza Al Forno, which made holding out until lunchtime for a pizza hard work!! Although I did need that much time to decide which pizza to have…. Based in Stafordshire, Richard and Kim have been cooking pizzas in their wood fired oven at events for years.

Over the course of the afternoon, we met most of the couples and guests who had come to look around the bunker, but we spent most of our time getting to know the other stall holders. There was a lot of variety on offer – a saxophonist, photographers, tipi hire, a magician, a baker, celebrants, a seamstress, florists and china hire – and they were all lovely! It also happened that a friend of mine was there exhibiting with his partner – Charlotte Clark – who’s support was invaluable. You guys rock ❤

Mom was on the ’till’ and on the tea, and I spent my afternoon on the coffee machine. All the nerves from the past few weeks disappeared and I was in my element steaming milk! At the end of the event, I was buzzing and I couldn’t believe I’d had any worries at all. After we packed up and got Reggie safely back home, I went straight to the pub for a well earned pint, with my biggest cheerleader and newly qualified Square expert (mom) – you’re the best.

I can’t wait to do it all again!

Hasbean visit.

Last Friday, me and mom went to the Hasbean roastery for a tour – I’d been considering having these guys as a house coffee, and I was not dissapointed!

I first tried Hasbean coffee at Dukes, a coffee house on the Penn Road . They serve Blake blend (in case you wanted to stalk Hasbean or Dukes and try it for yourself!) and I fell immediately in love. Mom bought some coffee from Dukes, and we later ordered a whole selection of their other blends direct from Hasbean, which of course were all delicious. I decided I would like to offer Hasbean coffee as at the very least a speciality espresso, because it’s just so damn good! They really give a crap too, which I’ll go into later.

The roastery is in Stafford, on an industrial estate (which took me a good while to find!). It doesn’t look like much from the outside, but inside is as stylish as you’d imagine from a modern, family run, eco conscious coffee roastery! We were met by Martin, who watched me struggle to park for a while, and we followed him and his impressive beard up to the Google office-style upper deck. The airy room was decked out in Hasbean’s signature red, and lined with toys that would make any coffee lover swoon! There were shelves full of books, awards and experimental alcoholic brews made from coffee cherries and flowers, distillation apparatus made from spare parts, and the biggest cold brew jug I’ve ever seen!

We were treated to a Chemex brewed Bolivian single origin – Las Alasitas, which was light and fruity and delicious (tasting notes of speculoos biscuit, cashew nut and milk chocolate) which Martin told us a bit about the company, and Steve who’s obsession founded it. You don’t necessarily get it from their website, but this family run business really care, about each other, amazing coffee, and their customers.

We got to have a play on the coffee machine while Martin told us all about how to brew the perfect espresso – a feat of chemistry and physics that will admittedly be difficult to pull off in a van, with different surfaces to park on, different temperatures and air flows! We drank some more coffee, and then had a tour of the roasting room, which you could see from the upper deck.

We met some of the team, who all seemed very pleased to see us! Then, we went downstairs to see some of the process and meet some green coffee beans. Martin explained to us the different processes the beans can undertake in order to reach the different end products we had already tried, while we were surrounded by the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans. Natural process, he explained, is when the whole cherry is dried, before the cascara (flesh) is removed, washed process is when the cherry is removed before the bean is dried, and honey process where some of the flesh, or the remaining mucilage is left on the bean and left to ferment. These all produce very different tasting coffees, and I’ll talk about these processes more in another post.

Finally, we had a tour of the warehouse, where the green beans arrive, the roasted coffees are stored ready for shipping, and the retail items are stored. We bought a Chemex jug, because we couldn’t resist after experiencing how different the coffee can taste after different preparations (something else I’ll talk about in another post)! We were gifted several coffees to try at home too!

I was very impressed by our welcome, and how generous Martin and the team were with their information and gifts! Hasbean is a living wage employer, and they are moving towards more sustainable packaging and ways of doing things. If you’ve not tried their coffee already, check them out here. I can’t wait to try all of the roasts we came home with, and have a play with the Chemex!

Take me home

Behind the name.

Liberation Coffee – or Libby for short! But not to be confused with Reggie, the name of the van itself!

The van came to me with his name, something I really wanted to keep from his previous owner, Ryan. Reggie used to be a smokehouse/kitchen for Smokey Oaks BBQ (check them out here). The day I was introduced to Reggie, I knew I wanted to keep the name, so that we could keep a little bit of the van’s history going.

The name Liberation coffee came from a brainstorm about what the business would mean to me. I knew I didn’t want to work for another business before becoming fully self employed – I wanted to be liberated from answering to anyone but myself! I’ve had a lot of amazing jobs with bosses/mentors who have taught me what it means to be in business, to make brave choices and lead with grace. I knew however that now it was time for Reggie and I to make our own way! I wanted the freedom to make my own choices and do business in a way that I feel is in line with my values. Also, my business being on wheels means I have the freedom to move around as I please (more or less!).

The values and ethos I strive to live and work by also had a bearing on the name. I wanted to help support businesses and charities working to end modern slavery. Slavery has played a big role in the history of coffee growing, and I wanted to contribute to ending this horrible practice that is still disturbingly prevalent to this day. Everyone should be able to earn a living wage, without fearing for their lives. I’ll go into this more in another post.

Liberation was also inspired by social justice movements I feel strongly about; equality for all sexes, and the LGBTQ+ and Black lives matter movements. I believe that people should be free to love who they want to love and be free to be themselves, without the burden of feeling ashamed or afraid of who they are. It makes me sick that people are victimised and fear for their lives for the colour of their skin or the way they choose to dress. I want to live in a world where people are free to live in a way true to themselves – to dress and live and love and exist exactly the way they were make and to celebrate their culture and identity. Human beings are incredible – we have such vibrant cultures and our differences should be celebrated, not used to drive wedges between us. I come from a place of privilege, and I will constantly be learning how to think and be better. This is my work, and I want to hold space for everyone, especially for our imperfections, and accept people as they come. I will live my life in a way that brings me closer to deeper understanding and empathy, and towards a place where people are seen as what we truly are – having more in common than we have differences.

Everyone is welcome here – you’re free to be who you are and speak your truth. Around here, we stand up for what’s right and we are understanding and accepting. We accept everyone’s limitations and educate rather than shame when we get things wrong. I hope you feel at home!

Take me home

Environmentally conscious.

A tin mug of coffee held up against a backdrop of a rugged valley.

It’s really important to me that I try to be as environmentally conscious as I can. The suppliers I choose for my coffee and tea and hot chocolate and milk and, well, everything, to me need to be the kinds of businesses who want to do good in the world, just like I do.

Coaltown roastery in Ammanford, where my coffee comes from, are a B corp. This means they work to the highest standards of environmental and social standards that businesses can, according to B lab. Their roastery was set up with the goal of bringing industry back to their hometown, only this time it’s a different kind of black gold! You can read more about Coaltown here, and B corporations here.

Minor Figures, where my oat milk comes from, are carbon negative, and TeaPigs is also a B corp. The Cornish Tea & Coffee are plastic-free, and they recycle spent coffee grounds into energy. All of my packaging is compostable. You can read about all the amazing suppliers I have chosen here. When I introduce you to guest espresso, you can bet that they will only be from other roasteries who are trying to do good in the world!

This isn’t to say I’m going to get it right all the time – who does?! But it does mean that I will do what I can in my own little corner of the world. I have a background in marine biology and wildlife conservation, which have been passions of mine since I was a child. I have met so many amazing animals and spent time in such gorgeous parts of the world and I want to protect this incredible planet we live on.

We are at a critical point in history right now. The planet is warming, sea levels are rising and species are going extinct at alarming rates. We live on a planet with finite resources and there are billions of us; more than this planet of ours can sustain in our current way of living. We all need to do what we can to lessen our impact and tread lightly. There is enough to go around, but we need to make better choices.

I have vegan friends who don’t eat meat because of the environmental impact (and of course, that they love animals!). I have family who drive electric cars, run form solar panels on their roof. My bit will be doing business in a way that I can be proud of. I want to look at my business and say that I am doing everything I can with the resources I have.

I know that I will make mistakes, and that it will not always be possible to be perfect, but I know that I can make a small difference. We all can. We can choose to support people who are trying to do business in a better way – by doing the right thing. My van is diesel – there’s no denying this is not ideal! I am looking into biofuel and will make the switch as soon as I can. My generator runs on petrol, but I will get solar panels and run my coffee machine from that! I offer double loyalty stamps when you bring a reusable cup!

I’m trying, and I will keep making small changes for the better, because there is a better way of doing things. I’m really passionate about this, and I hope that you’ll join me!

Launching is scary.

I’ve been struggling a lot with imposter syndrome about opening.

I had been moving forward in leaps and bounds getting everything ready – sorting out all my licenses, getting all my stock and making the van all spiffy ready to go. Then I just stopped!

Admittedly it was Christmas, and my “real job” was getting a bit hectic, but I know now I was just using this as an excuse not to launch. Everything was pretty much ready to go, and I just wasn’t doing the things I needed for that final push before launching. The only thing I had left to do was to start emailing people about trading from carparks and the like.

I paid attention to the thoughts that were popping up – “what if no one buys the coffee?”, “what if you don’t make enough money to stay open?”, “what if you’ve put all this investment into a business that just flops?”, “what if every single person you ask just tells you no and rejects you?”, and the worst one – “what if you’re not the kind of person who can keep yourself motivated enough to keep going?”.

The thing is, I know objectively that I am the sort of person who can motivate myself to keep going at a project – I’ve completed a bachelors degree, and a masters!! “But those had actual deadlines and structured modules!”. Silencio Bruno!!

The thing is, any task can be broken down into tasks, or modules if you will. And if you don’t think a VAT return deadline doesn’t count, then think again!! Any big goal you could ever dream up can be reverse-engineered to figure out the first thing you have to do to get yourself on track. Set up a coffee van and start trading? Before that you need a trading license, and EHO inspection, a van, a coffee machine… Each thing just needs checking off, and before you know where you are, you’re ready to go!! Then the only thing in your way is your own mindset.

Once you’ve done all the little tasks, and you’re ready to go, you just need to feel the fear, and do it anyway! Just because you’re scared, doesn’t mean that you should let you fear hold you back. Launching is scary- chasing your dreams is scary! But it’s not scarier than realising that if you don’t go for it, even with that feeling of apprehension, you’ll be stuck in the same place you are now. That thought scares me way more than putting myself out there and following my dreams.

So what if some people don’t like my coffee? I know there are people out there that only like tea! (OK so I also stock really good tea, for them!). There are people who don’t like hot drinks at all! There are people who only like instant freeze dried decaf!! I am not for them. I am here for the people who love really good coffee and tea, for the people who want to shop local, and for the people who share my vision that it’s possible to make a change in the world, staring with the choices you make. I’m here for them. Everyone else can go elsewhere – and I’m sure they will!

The fear of rejection has been strong recently, but I know that I am not the kind of woman who will let fear, or hearing several “no”s in a row, stop me from working towards my goal. I might not be able to see every step on the journey, but I can always see what I need to do next. I can listen to that scared little girl telling me I can’t do this, and let her know gently that I hear her concerns, but here’s why we’re all going to be OK…..

I want to be my own boss. I want future me to look back with pride, not just at how far I’ve come, but also to be proud of doing the scariest thing of all – putting myself out there in the first place! The more we all do hard things, the better we are at doing hard things.

I will become that woman, my own boss who doesn’t let a little thing like being terrified stand in my way, and I get a little closer with every step I take.

Take me home

Rest is productive.

I spent all of last week isolating. I wasn’t bored – I have been a knitter all my life and have used the time to begin a gift for a friend, and make a start on a test knit for a pattern designer. I did however struggle with some of my internal monologue…

I’m sitting at home, its grey and drizzly outside and I feel like crap, yet my thoughts begin to go along the lines of “you should be doing something”, “you could be getting ahead with your social media during this time”, “get a blog post drafted”, “why haven’t you spoken to all of your friends?”. I’m starting to panic because of all these things I ‘should’ be doing!

But the thing is, when you’re feeling crappy and you’re in enforced isolation (it’s actually the law that you stay inside!), then – radical idea – you don’t have to be productive!!!!

Even more radical – rest is productive!!

How are you supposed to think clearly and plan if you don’t get enough sleep? How can you find the motivation to maintain friendships and work on your business if you’re exhausted and overwhelmed all the time? Capitalism has conditioned us to believe that if we’re not producing results or concrete things then we are failures and we should be ashamed of ourselves. This, however, is a lie (and secretly, we all know it).

You have every right to lie on your sofa all day, eating Christmas chocolate and drinking wine – especially if you’re off sick! By taking the time to step off the hamster wheel, you’ll free your brain to look at things more objectively. You have to allow your brain some space so that new ideas can arrive. If it’s full all the time with your to-do lists and tasks, there can be no room for creativity.

Allowing space for new ideas, and to take a moment to mindfully drink a hot drink or go for a cold walk, will do wonders for your creativity, self-regard, mental and physical health. You’ll give your body a break from all those stress hormones that flood through it every day.

Tune into your inner cat – eat when you’re hungry, nap when you’re tired, and go outside if you feel like it (unless your isolating – then it would make sense to knock things off tables in frustration). They don’t have to meet deadlines or feel that they ‘ought to be doing something productive’. They just are, and you can be too!

Make yourself a coffee, stare out the window and just let your mind wander. Give yourself permission to just exist for a moment – doesn’t that feel freeing?

Take me home

Finding a pitch – a conversation with my inner critic.

Finding a spot to park the van and sell my coffee was the easy part. It’s the first thing I had, before I bought the van or thought up any of my branding, or set up my social media accounts. Never mind how hard all the accounting and accountability would be, I had my pitch!

Until I didn’t….

Through a heated conversation with the landowner, I was no longer able to park up where I thought, and the knock that made to my confidence was actually way bigger than I originally thought.

I thought everything was going so easily, until it wasn’t. Then I had to begin the search for somewhere else to park up, somewhere where my vision and the reality I was trying to create with this coffee venture would be appreciated and understood. Where people would be open minded and support me in the dream I was trying to build. And I had to do all this with my inner critic telling me that none of this would work out and I should just give up and sell up now…

I was trying to deal with all of this as the VAT return deadline loomed, and then I tested positive for COVID! I wasn’t able to go out and speak to people and pitch my dream to them. I had to rethink my relationship to my business, and myself as a business owner. I had to do what I could with what I had to move my business forward, one tiny step at a time, while still giving myself a lot of time to rest and recover.

I had all these negative thoughts about how my business was going to all go down the drain, so much catastrophising!! The only thing that helped, was to recognise these thoughts for what they were – not a reflection on myself, my ability to run a business, or my worth. Just my inner critic. From there, I was able to brainstorm a list of possible places to take my dream; a list of places where people might be willing to host me. I had to recognise that my critical thoughts were just there trying to give me (albeit not asked for!) advice. By treating this scared little voice with compassion, and seeing that she was only trying to help, I was able to take a little step forward.

I reached out to some of the places by email – still isolating from COVID – and made a list of some of the places I wanted to go and speak to in person after my isolation was up. Just seeing the list (a whole side of A4!) written down went a long way to easy the thoughts of “you’ll never find anywhere and your business will fail!”.

Then I asked her what she was worried would happen next. She said “they’ll all say no, and you’ll still have nowhere to sell from, even after all this work!”. So what? I’m going to have to get used to hearing no – the way all business owners do! And if no one on this list wants to host me, what then? I made a list of other things I might be able to do with a coffee van – events, wedding venus, festivals, markets….

Having this list written out went a long way to appease the critical inner voice, and approaching her with compassion and curiosity – trying to see how she is just trying to look out for me – went a long long way to calm her down!

Now I’m coming to the end of my isolation, and I have a long list of places I want to go and talk to about selling coffee – one of my favourite things to do! This stopped me from spiralling and thinking only of the worst case scenario, and it’s a valuable lesson I have learned!

For now, Reggie is still on my driveway, I’ll keep you updated on the search to find a pitch!